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purpletulipshello! i hope everyone has been well, eating healthy and drinking water!
today i'll be re-reading the first fic i posted to ao3, back in december 2017 when i had just gone through the produce 101 trenches. not all was hell, though, because i was introduced to one of my favorite dynamics in the entirety of kpop, so! i'm aware it hasn't been long since 2017/2018 but there's a lot of evolving that can be done in three years, both when it comes to your personal maturity levels and your writing style. i'll revisit that, see if i notice any major changes between how i wrote then and how i write now, and share some stuff i didn't get to share! let's get it~
for the basics, this fic was titled you got me crashing, boy because of a cover secret did of b.a.p's crash (which is also where this entry's title came from: it means i am ablaze with love, which is just a cheesycute line to me lol). if those names are somehow unfamiliar to you, i apologize for my harsh hag kpoppie crimes. you should listen to secret, though, because their discography is everything.
anyways, it's a keonwoong fic, based off a prompt where they'd bump into eachother while hwanwoong was babysitting and it was supposed to be way shorter, really lmao but i somehow got carried away. you'll notice that happens a lot with me. some of these cameos aged horribly — longguo and those poor cats :( and don't get me started on ym — but for the most part the fic was fun to write and i'm still fond of most of these people, so i'm excited to see what awaits me hehe
- fun fact! i wrote this fic before i went to college, so any typical university student experiences i portrayed there were taken directly out of my ass. i was studying for my entrance exams and somehow thought getting attached to a shit ton of trainees would be a decent coping method, which it kinda was. the jokes i made are falling flat so far to me but my sense of humor must've changed since then! my grammar sucked as well. i used to switch between tenses a lot and i still do that often but i'd like to think i've become more mindful of it... this fic was also written before i graduated in my english course so the mistakes are justified. *pats past self in the head* you did a good job with the tools you were given sweetie don't worry about it.
- why did i talk so much about hw being a broke college student helppp ;;;;; we get it! he's poor! OMFG AND ME MAKING EUNKENTA POLYAMOROUS...? even then i had to make at least one character non-monogamous and they seemed like the type who would be lol maybe i do project on my kpop boys after all?
- "he grew up with a jumpy poodle and wept at age twelve when she ran away from home" this is based on real life events, by the way! i didn't weep when my pup ran away but my aunt did and my brother was super sad ;; in the end we found out one of our neighbors took him and he kinda settled there which in retrospect is kinda of a relief, right? at least he wasn't hurt! anyways, i love dogs which is one of the reasons why i took on this plot, although i recently found out i'm allergic to them (and cats). press F to pay respects :(
- "Seeing Dr. Pet controlling insubordinate dogs to show he's the pack leader and therefore in charge can be easy, however, actually applying those techniques makes Hwanwoong feel ten years older." lmfao i'm pretty sure Dr. Pet is a very niche reference from a brazilian show i used to watch when i was younger with my family. nowadays i think about every reference i make to see if it suits the context + if it's something known abroad. past jenny wasn't so thorough, i guess
- "He wouldn't go as far as hurting an animal, however, leaving Oreo locked inside the house while Hwanwoong went out with his Grindr dates does cross his mind. " i do think hwanwoong would resort to grindr and other online dating tools to get laid, yeah. characterization seems alright so far.
- "He’ll just drink coffee with a pretty boy his friend’s dog almost killed. No big deal. " hw thinking of kh as pretty in every single oneus fic i've written... i swear i don't do it on purpose. when it comes down to it, from what i'm noticing, i didn't change much of the way i view keonwoong (and therefore write them). i just think they're soulmates who care about eachother dearly even though that affection is buried under thick layers of bickering, which only makes them more fun.
- "Donghyun's face shows up on the screen, squinting his eyes because of the sunrays, simultaneously attractive and goofy as always." present time jenny still finds donghyun cute and hot, yes.
- "Gunhee points out La La Land and how his friends think Ryan Gosling is hot but he has no top lip and his face looks like a badly shaped pancake. Hwanwoong says he also has no top lip and is therefore offended, which has Gunhee replying Hwanwoong’s lack of lip isn’t that severe and his face doesn’t look like a pancake. Hwanwoong asks him how many times Gunhee stared at him to notice that. Gunhee tells him to shut the fuck up. They’re good." FJKKLDDSLKJAK OK THAT'S A FUN PARAGRAPH. i'm exercising being nicer to myself! side-note: i made keonhee and donghan have a Past bc their interactions throughout that prinsix radio show were suspicious as hell and i had to have a nod to that somewhere. i just... had to.
- "Hwanwoong’s mom used to say we should keep our great plans and good things to ourselves." i used to incorporate so much of my irl experiences in my works wow... >my< mom says being protective of our dreams and plans for the future is best bc you can't tell who in your life resents you or envies you. and i've always lowkey believed that? bc i'm a silly water sign we established that
- "A fantasious one, even, since he’s sure Gunhee doesn’t like him in another way — he rambles about his short-lived crushes at school, tells tales about his exes, has a level of intimacy with Hwanwoong you wouldn’t have with someone you’re pinning over." again, a clear pattern on my keonwoong portrayal. "we're too much of close friends no way he likes me lol" so cute. so stupid.
- on the dinner scene, keonhee having glitter on his face reminds me of a tradition i started when i joined college. during carnival in brazil, it's common for people to put glitter on their faces and dress up with costumes that are either sexy or silly and go outside to let loose. i always thought glitter was sparkly and cute and we should normalize wearing it outside of holidays. so me & my roomie bought colorful glitter to wear whenever we went out and needed an extra mood boost, called it our emotional support sparkle hehe i know i wrote this before i went to college but i feel like keonhee would 100% join the emotional support sparkle movement.
- “I can’t believe my favorite people are fucking losers,” Donghan whines and buries his head on the carpet." I'M STILL OBSESSED WITH THE UNHELPFUL FRIENDS TROPE!! plus i loved the pd101 98line pipeline so i recall this scene of hw's realization of feelings w donghyun's drunken rant being really fun to write lmao
- "Years of cohabitation may have teached him the best way to help whenever Hwanwoong gets stressed out is to offer the bigger amount of distractions possible." me writing the same thing on my latest keonwoong fic lol only further proves my point that even though my writing has changed, the way i portray them hasn't changed at all. must be boring for readers but i have so much fun playing around with their bantering soulmatery... ahhhh... ;;
overall, i definitely don't dislike this fic as much as when i had just finished it! i feel like the pacing was nice, wasn't too dragged out (a recent concern of mine regarding my latest fics), and the confession scene was intense in a sweet way. i do think most of these dialogues were ass, laced with robotic stan twitter talk, and my english was... rough. but the fact this was the first fic i posted on ao3 (and didn't delete!) and it's representative of what i love to write (keonwoong obviously included) makes me not be too nitpicky about her ;; it was interesting to notice my improvements and my staples!! i'm also glad i became less unfunny!! how can someone be a self-proclaimed comedic author without being comedic, man? too much dfjks
anyways! if you read up to here, thank you! i hope you had fun reading through the machinations of my brain! regardless, have a nice day and stream kingdom come on apple music~
today i'll be re-reading the first fic i posted to ao3, back in december 2017 when i had just gone through the produce 101 trenches. not all was hell, though, because i was introduced to one of my favorite dynamics in the entirety of kpop, so! i'm aware it hasn't been long since 2017/2018 but there's a lot of evolving that can be done in three years, both when it comes to your personal maturity levels and your writing style. i'll revisit that, see if i notice any major changes between how i wrote then and how i write now, and share some stuff i didn't get to share! let's get it~
for the basics, this fic was titled you got me crashing, boy because of a cover secret did of b.a.p's crash (which is also where this entry's title came from: it means i am ablaze with love, which is just a cheesycute line to me lol). if those names are somehow unfamiliar to you, i apologize for my harsh hag kpoppie crimes. you should listen to secret, though, because their discography is everything.
anyways, it's a keonwoong fic, based off a prompt where they'd bump into eachother while hwanwoong was babysitting and it was supposed to be way shorter, really lmao but i somehow got carried away. you'll notice that happens a lot with me. some of these cameos aged horribly — longguo and those poor cats :( and don't get me started on ym — but for the most part the fic was fun to write and i'm still fond of most of these people, so i'm excited to see what awaits me hehe
- fun fact! i wrote this fic before i went to college, so any typical university student experiences i portrayed there were taken directly out of my ass. i was studying for my entrance exams and somehow thought getting attached to a shit ton of trainees would be a decent coping method, which it kinda was. the jokes i made are falling flat so far to me but my sense of humor must've changed since then! my grammar sucked as well. i used to switch between tenses a lot and i still do that often but i'd like to think i've become more mindful of it... this fic was also written before i graduated in my english course so the mistakes are justified. *pats past self in the head* you did a good job with the tools you were given sweetie don't worry about it.
- why did i talk so much about hw being a broke college student helppp ;;;;; we get it! he's poor! OMFG AND ME MAKING EUNKENTA POLYAMOROUS...? even then i had to make at least one character non-monogamous and they seemed like the type who would be lol maybe i do project on my kpop boys after all?
- "he grew up with a jumpy poodle and wept at age twelve when she ran away from home" this is based on real life events, by the way! i didn't weep when my pup ran away but my aunt did and my brother was super sad ;; in the end we found out one of our neighbors took him and he kinda settled there which in retrospect is kinda of a relief, right? at least he wasn't hurt! anyways, i love dogs which is one of the reasons why i took on this plot, although i recently found out i'm allergic to them (and cats). press F to pay respects :(
- "Seeing Dr. Pet controlling insubordinate dogs to show he's the pack leader and therefore in charge can be easy, however, actually applying those techniques makes Hwanwoong feel ten years older." lmfao i'm pretty sure Dr. Pet is a very niche reference from a brazilian show i used to watch when i was younger with my family. nowadays i think about every reference i make to see if it suits the context + if it's something known abroad. past jenny wasn't so thorough, i guess
- "He wouldn't go as far as hurting an animal, however, leaving Oreo locked inside the house while Hwanwoong went out with his Grindr dates does cross his mind. " i do think hwanwoong would resort to grindr and other online dating tools to get laid, yeah. characterization seems alright so far.
- "He’ll just drink coffee with a pretty boy his friend’s dog almost killed. No big deal. " hw thinking of kh as pretty in every single oneus fic i've written... i swear i don't do it on purpose. when it comes down to it, from what i'm noticing, i didn't change much of the way i view keonwoong (and therefore write them). i just think they're soulmates who care about eachother dearly even though that affection is buried under thick layers of bickering, which only makes them more fun.
- "Donghyun's face shows up on the screen, squinting his eyes because of the sunrays, simultaneously attractive and goofy as always." present time jenny still finds donghyun cute and hot, yes.
- "Gunhee points out La La Land and how his friends think Ryan Gosling is hot but he has no top lip and his face looks like a badly shaped pancake. Hwanwoong says he also has no top lip and is therefore offended, which has Gunhee replying Hwanwoong’s lack of lip isn’t that severe and his face doesn’t look like a pancake. Hwanwoong asks him how many times Gunhee stared at him to notice that. Gunhee tells him to shut the fuck up. They’re good." FJKKLDDSLKJAK OK THAT'S A FUN PARAGRAPH. i'm exercising being nicer to myself! side-note: i made keonhee and donghan have a Past bc their interactions throughout that prinsix radio show were suspicious as hell and i had to have a nod to that somewhere. i just... had to.
- "Hwanwoong’s mom used to say we should keep our great plans and good things to ourselves." i used to incorporate so much of my irl experiences in my works wow... >my< mom says being protective of our dreams and plans for the future is best bc you can't tell who in your life resents you or envies you. and i've always lowkey believed that? bc i'm a silly water sign we established that
- "A fantasious one, even, since he’s sure Gunhee doesn’t like him in another way — he rambles about his short-lived crushes at school, tells tales about his exes, has a level of intimacy with Hwanwoong you wouldn’t have with someone you’re pinning over." again, a clear pattern on my keonwoong portrayal. "we're too much of close friends no way he likes me lol" so cute. so stupid.
- on the dinner scene, keonhee having glitter on his face reminds me of a tradition i started when i joined college. during carnival in brazil, it's common for people to put glitter on their faces and dress up with costumes that are either sexy or silly and go outside to let loose. i always thought glitter was sparkly and cute and we should normalize wearing it outside of holidays. so me & my roomie bought colorful glitter to wear whenever we went out and needed an extra mood boost, called it our emotional support sparkle hehe i know i wrote this before i went to college but i feel like keonhee would 100% join the emotional support sparkle movement.
- “I can’t believe my favorite people are fucking losers,” Donghan whines and buries his head on the carpet." I'M STILL OBSESSED WITH THE UNHELPFUL FRIENDS TROPE!! plus i loved the pd101 98line pipeline so i recall this scene of hw's realization of feelings w donghyun's drunken rant being really fun to write lmao
- "Years of cohabitation may have teached him the best way to help whenever Hwanwoong gets stressed out is to offer the bigger amount of distractions possible." me writing the same thing on my latest keonwoong fic lol only further proves my point that even though my writing has changed, the way i portray them hasn't changed at all. must be boring for readers but i have so much fun playing around with their bantering soulmatery... ahhhh... ;;
overall, i definitely don't dislike this fic as much as when i had just finished it! i feel like the pacing was nice, wasn't too dragged out (a recent concern of mine regarding my latest fics), and the confession scene was intense in a sweet way. i do think most of these dialogues were ass, laced with robotic stan twitter talk, and my english was... rough. but the fact this was the first fic i posted on ao3 (and didn't delete!) and it's representative of what i love to write (keonwoong obviously included) makes me not be too nitpicky about her ;; it was interesting to notice my improvements and my staples!! i'm also glad i became less unfunny!! how can someone be a self-proclaimed comedic author without being comedic, man? too much dfjks
anyways! if you read up to here, thank you! i hope you had fun reading through the machinations of my brain! regardless, have a nice day and stream kingdom come on apple music~
